As a teenager in the 1970’s I blew down the highway without a care in the world.  Then I was cut off and almost crashed my new bright blue Mazda because of some thoughtless driver.  I remember screaming at the person driving, although they never heard me.  I fumed for the rest of the day talking about what I would do next time this happened.  My rhetoric was loaded with negative language and felt in that moment, it put that driver in his place.

Emotionally charged words can be either negative or positive.  My words dealt with the anger, fear, disgust and sadness I felt thinking about losing my freedom to drive, being financially strapped with a new car payment for a car that didn’t exist.  It made me sick to my stomach.

Explaining this event to a friend, I repeated and relived the moment as if it had just happened.

My friend gently asked, “Did this just happen a few minutes ago?”

I told her “No, it happened three days ago.”

She stated that I had just relived it with her as if it had just happened.

The edge of my voice caught me by surprise as I stated, “I am not a drama queen”, but suddenly, I realized I was.  I felt exposed like my skin didn’t fit me at that moment.

What gives you emotional charge?  Think about this and consider what gives you emotional charge. Emotional charge comes from the past and is not effective inside your leadership. Emotional charge is not released through scream and yelling.  It’s done with exercise or physical labor.

Consider that inside of your leadership, you are in control of your behaviors.  If you react you have lost your control.  You are now free to choose how to act when something gives you emotional charge.